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Billings, Josh quotes - related books on Amazon -> Billings, Josh 1815-1885 American Humorist Lecturer


When a man gets talking about himself, he seldom fails to be eloquent and often reaches the sublime.
Billings, Josh
Eloquence

The happiest time in a man s life is when he is in the red hot pursuit of a dollar with a reasonable prospect of overtaking it.
Billings, Josh
Business

Reason often makes mistakes, but conscience never does.
Billings, Josh
Conscience

There s a great power in words, if you don t hitch too many of them together.
Billings, Josh
Brevity

Common sense is the knack of seeing things as they are, and doing things as they ought to be done.
Billings, Josh
Common Sense

Don t take the bull by the horns, take him by the tail; then you can let go when you want to.
Billings, Josh
Control

I have lived in this world just long enough to look carefully the second time into things that I am the most certain of the first time.
Billings, Josh
Certainty

Experience is a school where a man learns what a big fool he has been.
Billings, Josh
Experience

Always live within your income, even if you have to borrow money to do so.
Billings, Josh
Debt

Experience increases our wisdom but doesn t reduce our follies.
Billings, Josh
Experience

Never run into debt, not if you can find anything else to run into.
Billings, Josh
Debt

A good way I know to find happiness, is to not bore a hole to fit the plug.
Billings, Josh
Happiness

As a general thing, when the woman wears the pants in the family, she has a good right to them.
Billings, Josh
Marriage

A puppy plays with every pup he meets, but an old dog has few associates.
Billings, Josh
Friends and Friendship

The miser and the glutton are two facetious buzzards: one hides his store, and the other stores his hide.
Billings, Josh
Glutton

There s lots of people who spend so much time watching their health, they haven t got time to enjoy it.
Billings, Josh
Health

If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it as the old woman did her lost spectacles. Safe on her own nose all the time.
Billings, Josh
Happiness

There are two kinds of fools: those who can t change their opinions and those who won t.
Billings, Josh
Fools and Foolishness

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed.
Billings, Josh
Flattery

Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain t lawful tender for a loaf of bread.
Billings, Josh
Honesty

Take all the fools out of this world and there wouldn t be any fun living in it, or profit.
Billings, Josh
Fools and Foolishness

The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his way.
Billings, Josh
Fools and Foolishness

There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.
Billings, Josh
Forgiveness

If there was no faith there would be no living in this world. We could not even eat hash with any safety.
Billings, Josh
Faith

The more humble a man is before God the more he will be exalted; the more humble he is before man, the more he will get rode roughshod.
Billings, Josh
Humility

There are some people so addicted to exaggeration that they can t tell the truth without lying.
Billings, Josh
Exaggeration

Threescore years and ten is enough; if a man can t suffer all the misery he wants in that time, he must be numb.
Billings, Josh
Life and Living

Woman s influence is powerful, especially when she wants something.
Billings, Josh
Power

I honestly believe it is better to know nothing than to know what ain t so.
Billings, Josh
Knowledge

Incredulity is the wisdom of the fool.
Billings, Josh
Incredulity

Love is said to be blind, but I know some fellows in love who can see twice as much in their sweethearts as I do.
Billings, Josh
Love

The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord it ain t the gout.
Billings, Josh
Medicine

Life is short, but it s long enough to ruin any man who wants to be ruined.
Billings, Josh
Life and Living

Knowledge is like money: the more he gets, the more he craves.
Billings, Josh
Knowledge

The trouble with most folks ain t so much their ignorance as knowing so many things that ain t so.
Billings, Josh
Knowledge

Don t put off till tomorrow what can be enjoyed today.
Billings, Josh
Procrastination

Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
Billings, Josh
Life and Living

Poverty is the step-mother of genius.
Billings, Josh
Poverty and The Poor

To enjoy a good reputation give publicly, and steal privately.
Billings, Josh
Philanthropists

Don t mistake pleasure for happiness. They are a different breed of dogs.
Billings, Josh
Pleasure

Remember the poor, it costs nothing.
Billings, Josh
Poverty and The Poor

Consider the postage stamp, my son. It secures success through its ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.
Billings, Josh
Perseverance

Pity cost nothing and ain t worth nothing.
Billings, Josh
Pity

I am a poor man, but I have this consolation: I am poor by accident, not by design.
Billings, Josh
Poverty and The Poor

There is no greater evidence of superior intelligence than to be surprised at nothing.
Billings, Josh
Surprises

I haven t got as much money as some folks, but I ve got as much impudence as any of them, and that s the next thing to money.
Billings, Josh
Money

A good place to visit, but a poor place to stay.
Billings, Josh
Places

Men mourn for what they have lost; women for what they ain t got.
Billings, Josh
Men and Women

About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment.
Billings, Josh
Plagiarism

If a man should happen to reach perfection in this world, he would have to die immediately to enjoy himself.
Billings, Josh
Perfection

Music hath the charm to soothe a savage beast, but I d try a revolver first.
Billings, Josh
Music

Don t ever prophesy; for if you prophesy wrong, nobody will forget it; and if you prophesy right, nobody will remember it.
Billings, Josh
Prophecy

Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel.
Billings, Josh
Mother-in-Laws

Time is like money, the less we have of it to spare the further we make it go.
Billings, Josh
Time and Time Management

It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those that we intend to commit.
Billings, Josh
Repentance

Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute.
Billings, Josh
Silence

As long as we are lucky we attribute it to our smartness; our bad luck we give the gods credit for.
Billings, Josh
Success

Most people repent their sins by thanking God they ain t so wicked as their neighbors.
Billings, Josh
Repentance

I don t care how much a person talks, if they only say it in a few words.
Billings, Josh
Speakers and Speaking

It s not only the most difficult thing to know one s self, but the most inconvenient.
Billings, Josh
Self-knowledge

As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.
Billings, Josh
Truth

Old maids sweeten their tea with scandal.
Billings, Josh
Scandal

It s not only the most difficult thing to know one s self, but the most inconvenient.
Billings, Josh
Self-discovery

The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.
Billings, Josh
Self-control

Never work before breakfast. If you have to work before breakfast, get your breakfast first.
Billings, Josh
Work

One of the rarest things that a man ever does, is to do the best he can.
Billings, Josh
Quality

It is better to know nothing than to know what ain t so.
Billings, Josh
Attitude

Advice is like castor oil, easy to give, but dreadful to take.
Billings, Josh
Advice

Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist -- it reduces him to his fighting weight.
Billings, Josh
Adversity

I have never known a person to live to be one hundred and be remarkable for anything else.
Billings, Josh
Age and Aging

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.
Billings, Josh
Animals

Wisdom has never made a bigot, but learning has.
Billings, Josh
Bigotry

Most people when they come to you for advice, come to have their own opinions strengthened, not corrected.
Billings, Josh
Advice

The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear.
Billings, Josh
Anxiety

In youth we run into difficulties. In old age difficulties run into us.
Billings, Josh
Age and Aging

It ain t so much trouble to get rich as it is to tell when we have got rich.
Billings, Josh
Wealth

Some folks are wise and some otherwise.
Billings, Josh
Wisdom

To bring up a child in the way he should go -- travel that way yourself.
Billings, Josh
Upbringing

There is a significant Latin proverb; to wit: Who will guard the guards?
Billings, Josh
Vigilance

It is a statistical fact that the wicked work harder to reach hell than the righteous do to enter heaven.
Billings, Josh
Wickedness

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.
Billings, Josh
Youth