Bombeck, Erma
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Bombeck, Erma
I am not a glutton -- I am an explorer of food.
Bombeck, Erma
Control
The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heaving breathing again.
Bombeck, Erma
Exercise
You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren t dying. They re merging into big conglomerates.
Bombeck, Erma
Family
I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: Checkout Time is 18 years.
Bombeck, Erma
Parents and Parenting
When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left and could say, I used everything you gave me..
Bombeck, Erma
Talent
Don t confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
Bombeck, Erma
Success
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
Bombeck, Erma
Children
It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
Bombeck, Erma
Courage
It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows.
Bombeck, Erma
Children
Humorists can never start to take themselves seriously. It s literary suicide.
Bombeck, Erma
Comedy and Comedians
Never accept a drink from a Urologist.
Bombeck, Erma
Alcohol and Alcoholism
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
Bombeck, Erma
Doctors