Rogers, Will quotes
1879-1935 American Humorist ActorCommunism to me is one-third practice and two-thirds explanation.
Rogers, Will
Communism and Socialism
Every time a woman leaves off something she looks better, but every time a man leaves off something he looks worse.
Rogers, Will
Dress
The nation is prosperous on the whole, but how much prosperity is there in a hole?
Rogers, Will
Debt
There should be one day when there is open season on senators.
Rogers, Will
Congress
The Republicans have their splits right after election and Democrats have theirs just before an election.
Rogers, Will
Elections
Communism is like prohibition, it is a good idea, but it won t work.
Rogers, Will
Communism and Socialism
There isn t any finer folks living than a Republican that votes the Democratic ticket.
Rogers, Will
Elections
This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.
Rogers, Will
Congress
An economist s guess is liable to be as good as anybody else s.
Rogers, Will
Economy and Economics
With Congress, every time they make a joke it s a law, and every time they make a law it s a joke.
Rogers, Will
Congress
There s only one thing that can kill the movies, and that s education.
Rogers, Will
Cinema
Everything is changing. People are taking the comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.
Rogers, Will
Change
So live that you wouldn t be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.
Rogers, Will
Gossip
I wonder if it isn t just cowardice instead of generosity that makes us give tips.
Rogers, Will
Giving
Strangers are just friends I haven t met yet.
Rogers, Will
Friends and Friendship
Lord, let me live until I die.
Rogers, Will
Famous Last Words
Don t gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up. If it don t go up, don t buy it.
Rogers, Will
Gambling
I don t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
Rogers, Will
Government
There is nothing so stupid as an educated man, if you get him off the thing he was educated in.
Rogers, Will
Experts
The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.
Rogers, Will
Gossip
Be thankful we re not getting all the government we re paying for.
Rogers, Will
Government
Things will get better -- despite our efforts to improve them.
Rogers, Will
Improvement
It doesn t much signify whom one marries, for one is sure to find out the next morning that it was someone else.
Rogers, Will
Marriage
It s great to be great, but it s greater to be human.
Rogers, Will
Humankind
Pain is such an uncomfortable feeling that even a tiny amount of it is enough to ruin every enjoyment.
Rogers, Will
Pain
I like to hear a man talk about himself because then I never hear anything, but good.
Rogers, Will
Praise
The short memories of American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.
Rogers, Will
Memory
Everybody is ignorant -- only on different subjects.
Rogers, Will
Ignorance
Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far.
Rogers, Will
Praise
A man can learn only two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.
Rogers, Will
Learning
You never know how much a man can t remember until he is called as a witness.
Rogers, Will
Memory
Liberty doesn t work as well in practice as it does in speeches.
Rogers, Will
Liberty
In the early days of the Indian Territory, there were no such things as birth certificates. You being there was certificate enough.
Rogers, Will
Life and Living
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
Rogers, Will
Humor
People are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their guide.
Rogers, Will
Law Suits
There is no more independence in politics than there is in jail.
Rogers, Will
Politicians and Politics
I m not a member of any organized political party, I m a Democrat!
Rogers, Will
Politicians and Politics
I tell you folks, all politics is applesauce.
Rogers, Will
Politicians and Politics
If you ever injected truth into politics you would have no politics.
Rogers, Will
Truth
No party is as bad as its leaders.
Rogers, Will
Politicians and Politics
Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated.
Rogers, Will
Politicians and Politics
Politics is not worrying this country one-tenth as much as where to find a parking space.
Rogers, Will
Politicians and Politics
The more you read and observe about this politics thing, the more you ve got to admit that each party s worse than the other. The one that s out always looks the best.
Rogers, Will
Politicians and Politics
All I know is just what I read in the papers.
Rogers, Will
Newspapers
The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.
Rogers, Will
Politicians and Politics
This country has gotten where it is in spite of politics, not by the aid of it. That we have carried as much political bunk as we have and still survived shows we are a super nation.
Rogers, Will
Politicians and Politics
Broad-minded is just another way of saying a fellow is too lazy to form an opinion.
Rogers, Will
Opinions
A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.
Rogers, Will
Opinions
In Hollywood the woods are full of people that learned to write, but evidently can t read. If they could read their stuff, they d stop writing.
Rogers, Will
Movies
I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they do today.
Rogers, Will
Nudity
You can t say that civilization don t advance... for in every war they kill you a new way.
Rogers, Will
Progress
The reason political party platforms are so long is that when you straddle anything it takes a long time to explain it.
Rogers, Will
Politicians and Politics
Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf.
Rogers, Will
Taxes and Taxation
One revolution is like one cocktail, it just gets you organized for the next.
Rogers, Will
Revolutions and Revolutionaries
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
Rogers, Will
Time and Time Management
The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn t get worse every time Congress meets.
Rogers, Will
Taxes and Taxation
The Income Tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.
Rogers, Will
Taxes and Taxation
The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don t know when it s through if you are a crook or a martyr.
Rogers, Will
Taxes and Taxation
Our public men are speaking every day on something, but they ain t saying anything.
Rogers, Will
Speakers and Speaking
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can t it get us out?
Rogers, Will
Stupidity
Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you do not know when it is through if you are a crook or a martyr.
Rogers, Will
Taxes and Taxation
Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.
Rogers, Will
Action
The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don t let it get the best of you.
Rogers, Will
Adversity
We are the first nation in the history of the world to go to the poorhouse in an automobile.
Rogers, Will
Automobiles
My ancestors didn t come over on the Mayflower, but they were there to meet the boat.
Rogers, Will
Ancestry
There ain t nothing that breaks up homes, country, and nations like somebody publishing their memoirs.
Rogers, Will
Biography
When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do -- well, that s Memoirs.
Rogers, Will
Autobiography
The main thing about being a hero is to know when to die.
Rogers, Will
Heroes and Heroism
America is a great country, but you can t live in it for nothing.
Rogers, Will
America
I never met a man I didn t like.
Rogers, Will
Affection
One ad is worth more to a paper than forty editorials.
Rogers, Will
Advertising
Being a hero is about the shortest lived profession on earth.
Rogers, Will
Heroes and Heroism
We can t all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.
Rogers, Will
Heroes and Heroism
Mona Lisa is the only beauty who went through history and retained her reputation.
Rogers, Will
Virtue
It s not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.
Rogers, Will
Worth
The person with the best job in the country is the vice president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, How is the president?
Rogers, Will
Work